Friday, July 17, 2009

The Only Starbucks Fan in America


Many people may consider Starbucks an evil corporation, but as someone who needs to keep her BFL (Blood Frappacino level) high at all times, I have been distraught over the company's recent troubles. While I do feel the pain of urban Mom and Pop coffee shops, for those of us who get most of our coffee off a highway exit or in the local mall, just the thought of Pumpkin Spice puts a smile on our faces.

Suburban Starbucks
Aren't hurting the little guy!

Only McDonald's.


So I wish them well with their latest marketing strategy, which involves redesigning their stores so that they could be mistaken for non-corporate entities, with names like 15th Avenue Coffee and Tea Shop. Some of these new shops will serve beer and wine.

Keep my 'Bucks the same!
I might wander to Dunkin'

By mistake! So sad.

Unlike me, many are enraged about this admittedly sneaky tactic. These people don't want to be tricked into going to Starbucks when they think they're getting some really cool indie hipster coffee, despite the obvious deliciousness of The Man's frothy drinks.

In particular, one local business owner in Seattle claims that the redesigned Starbucks are "stealing her ambiance," though it seems unlikely she would compete with Starbucks for business.

Why so serious?
Lattes VS pint glasses?
Your place is a pub.

Best of luck, Starbucks!
Disguising my local branch?
Please give a heads up!

One more suggestion:
Recycling for cups in shops!
A greener brew source.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Team Aniston VS Team Jolie


The Marquee Blog reports that poor Jennifer Aniston continues to feel the burn from husband-stealer Angelina Jolie. Forbes magazine alerted the world that on their list of the world's most powerful celebrities, Angelina was tops while Jen only came in a paltry number eight. To add insult to injury, Jolie out-earned Aniston by $2 million dollars last year.

It gets worse for the former Rachel:

"In the survey, conducted by E-Poll for WEtv network, almost 900 women between the ages of 18-49 were asked who they liked most between Angelina, Jennifer, Paris Hilton, Natalie Portman and Diane Sawyer.

Angelina came in first with 49 percent. Jennifer ranked second at 36-percent. At least she beat Paris (6 percent).

Angie beats Jen in another poll released by Heat magazine. This one reportedly asked fans (presumably female) whose body they envied most. Angelina came in fifth, Jennifer sixth. “Transformers” hottie Megan Fox took the top spot."

Of course this news merits a pair of haikus:

Is it the tattoos?
Or the orphan collection?
A new 'do for Jen?


Watch out, Jolie-Pitt.
Fox is a decade younger
And out-grosses you.

According to these stats, anyway:
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/people/chart/?id=angelinajolie.htm
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/people/chart/?id=meganfox.htm

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Tips for Getting the Creative Juices Flowing

All writers find their fingers and minds atrophied by writers' block from time to time. Writing a haiku every day means I need to work through writer's block often. If you're trying to write a haiku, a short story, a snappy thank you card, or anything else, and find you're doing a lot more staring at the computer screen than typing, these tips might help you unthaw your creative talents!

1) Do Something Else. Sometimes sitting in front of a dormant piece of writing is only frustrating. I've found that an activity that occupies my body or hands (going for a run, cleaning, a few mindless hours of desktop Solitaire) but leaves my mind free can help knock loose a few ideas. Click off the monitor and take a walk.

2) Or Follow a Routine. Trying writing at the time of day when you're naturally most focused and fresh. Setting down with your notebook or at your computer at the same time of day can become a mental cue to your brain that it's time to work.

3) Switch Paragraphs. Or lines or articles or whatever. If one particular spot of a story, poem or paper is causing your mental meltdown, put in a place holder (a bold sentence you won't miss when you eventually submit a good copy of your work, saying something like INSERT GENIUS IDEA HERE) and move on to the next. In a larger work you might even make such a drastic move as skipping whole chapters, but so what? Working on another part might make sense of what should come before it.

4) Don't Censor Yourself. When you're really stuck, any idea should be considered a good one. Brainstorm or free write without omitting anything you think of. You never know when an idea you once considered a clunker will come in handy.

5) Seek help. Sharing your work with other writers or friends might yield some great new ideas. Find an online community or in-person writers' group to get some feedback. Or just talk out your ideas and what you've written so far with a buddy.

6) Switch Formats. If your haiku were a news article instead, what would you include? What if your short story were a play? What if your toast was going to be written in thank you note? Experimenting with your work in a different format might provide you with a fresh perspective.

7) Don't Beat Yourself Up. Berating yourself for your lack of written output will only make things worse. You're in good company; both F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ralph Ellison were notorious sufferers of writer's block. Your block will break eventually, too.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Palin quits early!
New baby named Wolverine?
Levi: cash calling.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/07/10/politics/main5149480.shtml

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Non-News Haiku

The good folks at Kashi have penned a haiku to promote their yummy and not too bad for you food. Here is what I found printed on my Chicken Rustico sandwich box:

Heavenly pocket
All natural ingredients
Soft baked whole grain bliss

Does your favorite food or product merit a haiku in its honor? Post them here!

17 Syllable News Update - Holy Smoke!

Army may ban smokes.
Necessary stress relief
or winded soldiers?

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/07/12/military.smoking.ban/index.html