'Absolutely' Inescapable: A Haiku Poem News Brief

A verbal virus?
'Absolutely' overused
Sign of unsure times?

Read more about the virulent spread of 'absolutely' here.

"The Happening": A Haiku Poem Movie Review

Try The Happening!
Everyone hates this movie!
But I disagree!

Creepiness abounds!
Way better than The Village!
Leaves much mystery.

Eerie ambiance
Windy fields sinister
Thought provoking end.

Wahlberg against type
As thoughtful science teacher
In likable role.

Unfairly lumped with
Other Shymalan failures
Best since The Sixth Sense!


The Happening stars Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel and John Leguizamo. Read the critics' merciless ripping of The Happening here.

Home Sweet Home: Thursday's Haiku Challenge

This week's haiku challenge is about where you live! What rocks about your apartment or house? What makes you wish you could move immediately? What makes it uniquely your space? Do you share it with roommates, a spouse, a parrot? Write a haiku about where you dwell and post it here!

Lawn guys broke my door!
Someone steals my tomatoes.
HOA rules suck!

Heated bathroom tiles
Painted stripes on bedroom walls
Plenty of side walks!

I decided to list the good with the bad. Write a haiku about where you dwell and post it here!

Michelle Obama's "Short" Shorts Controversy: A Haiku Poem News Brief

Headline on Today—
I expected much more skin!
"Shorts" are not that short!

Tastefully youthful!
Hope she's not wearing flip flops!
Now that's a problem!

The way The Today Show was talking about this I expected a loincloth! Read more about the raging controversy surrounding Michelle Obama's shorts here.

Flip Flops Disease-Ridden: A Haiku Poem News Brief

Carefree summer shoes
Or germ-ridden foam of death?
Flip flops are germy!

Staph germs found on them
Old Navy hopes no one knows!
Worse on city streets!


Between the coke on money and the germs on your foam harbingers of death, what is safe to touch? Read more about the flip flop health crisis here.

Cocaine on 90% of US Bills: A Haiku News Brief

Traces on most cash
Snorters, dealers, ATMS
Gotta wash your hands!

Too little for high
Tellers could fail drug tests!
But no real health risk!

Find out more about this surprising discovery here.

"500 Days of Summer": A Haiku Poem Movie Review

Sadly lovestruck Tom
And quirky but cold Summer
Chart 500 days!

Non-linear plot,
Likable performances,
Unique directing!

Love story rings true
Rom-com with added whimsy
Muses about fate!

I truly loved this movie! Read more reviews of "500 Days of Summer," starring Zooey Deschanel, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Clark Gregg, and Minka Kelly here.

Thursday's Challenge: Breakfast Haiku Poem

Sick of cereal
Pink popsicles for breakfast!
More nutritious lunch?

Okay, that's my example. Now it's your turn! Today's haiku challenge is to write about what you had for breakfast! Was it the same yummy oatmeal you've been having for years? Was it a sugary Pop Tart? Plain toast? Whatever it was, turn it into a haiku and post it here!

Haiku Poem Advice to the Woman Who Tried to Deface the Mona Lisa

No need for violence!
If you don't like a painting
leave the museum!

But you're not alone
Two attacks in'56
But she smiles last!

Read more about the woman who tried to deface the Mona Lisa here.

Bumpaholics: A News Haiku Poem

Bigger families—
Is pregnancy addictive?
Just ask mom Nadya.

Baby bumps equal
Attention, purpose and food!
Cure for postpartum?


Read more about the supposedly addictive qualities of pregnancy here.

"Confessions of a Shopaholic": A Haiku Poem Movie Review

Is the shopping mall

where you purchase a new self?

Or where you get lost?

Fans of Devil Wears Prada,

Legally Blonde and Clueless

will enjoy this film.

Fisher is charming in

Light look at heavy issue—

the perils of debt!

I laughed at Becky's

Passion for sale shopping

Because it was me!

A gentle push for

finding oneself through hard work—

laughing all the way!

Confessions of a Shopaholic stars scene-stealer Isla Fisher as Becky, a shopping-addicted journalist whose crippling credit card debt forces her to take a job at a financial advice magazine. See more reviews here.

Spot versus Junior?
Dogs as smart as two year olds!
Except afghan hounds!

Dog kindergarten
Would include counting and words
Along with nap time.

Makes me feel sorry for afghan hounds, though they're cute anyway! Read more here about the genius of dogs.

GI Joe: A Haiku Poem Move Review

Made-up weaponry
The gadgets are the real stars
Mites that eat metal?!?

Oh the memories!
Scarlett and Deathstro are here
Along with Snake Eyes!




Cheesy nostalgia
So check your brain at the door
And take a fun ride!

See more reviews of this thinly plotted yet enjoyable summer flick here.

My Brother's Comments on Bill Clinton's Heroics: A News Haiku Poem

Later, on the plane—
Do you think he got weird there?
'Try on this beret'?

* My brother's thoughts about Bill Clinton rescuing two female American journalists, Laura Ling and Euna Lee, from North Korean prison, paraphrased into haiku poem format.

Found Haiku Poem: Song Lyrics

Since I began this blog, I've been wondering if any song lyrics fit the haiku poem format without alterations.

The answer is very few do, if any.

And taking the song lyrics out of the context of the whole work really changes their meaning and emotional charge.

This morning, though, I came up with one, through a random moment of I-Pod bliss while walking my dog Marley. "Save It For Later" by the English Beat, a mild 80s hit, contains three lines that indeed fit into the 5, 7, 5 syllable pattern:

Save it for later
Don't run away, let me down
Sooner or later

Do these lyrics, isolated like that, make any sense?

Not really.



You have to invent a story to go with it, like a jilted boyfriend or girlfriend who know their going to get left. The "save it for later" sounds a bit more hopeful to me, but when you hit the "sooner or later," they know heartbreak is around the corner.

Other haiku lyrics can be found in "Under the Bridge" by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.

She sees my good deeds
And she kisses me windy
I never worry.

What does it mean to kiss someone "windy"? Don't ask me; I'm not Anthony Kiedis. But it's great that it's open to interpretation. Since we end on "I never worry," the sort of depressed mood of the song as a whole is totally gone. But if you take these three lines, you get a totally different vibe, closer to the original song's intent:

Together we cry
I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day

Same song, a line taken from the verse and two from the chorus, totally different sounding haiku.



Haikus embedded in existing songs are hard to find and totally change the meaning of the lyrics. Find any yourself? Share them here!

Haiku Poem How-To Written in Haiku

Writing a haiku

Can seem daunting but relax!

It's not hard to do.

Select a topic—

your favorite ice cream flavor,

the state of your socks.

Count your syllables—

three lines of five, seven, five

is the final goal.

Try a twist ending.

Use a thesaurus if stuck.

Better with practice!

My inspiration here is mylittlebecky, who commented that she liked reading haiku poems, but couldn't write them "satisfactorily." My view is that haikus (and all poetry, really) should be fun to write. I wouldn't get hung up on perfection--that's what revisions are for. The beauty of the haiku is the short format allows you to write a complete poem quickly, and syllable limitations lead to unexpected word choices. All fun and games, in my opinion!

To the Family Living Alone in the 32 Story Condo: Haiku Advice

Alone in condo
Recession-induced Shining
Intruders at night!

Make like Home Alone!
Camp in the elevator!
Bowl in the hallway!

You'll miss the quiet
When the economy turns!
Home alone no more.

Read more about the plight of the lonely family here.

Haiku Op-Ed - Latisse

Who will pay for this?
Mascara works fine for me!
1400 bucks!

Latisse actually became available for sale in February, but the commercials I've been seeing for it seem new. Being lash-less, completely, probably does cause some medical problems, like getting debris in your eyes or dry eyes. But is insufficient lash lushness really a cosmetic issue serious enough to merit medical intervention? That insurance companies will not cover? I guess the answer in the eye of the beholder.

Read more about the ground-breaking medical miracle that is Latisse here.

Somehow, I don't think the application of Latisse is the only thing they've
done to to this previously lashless lady.

Haiku Movie Review: "Serenity"

To my brother Mike—
Who gave me Serenity
Watched it finally!

TV show spinoff
From the writers of Buffy
My brother loved it!

Earth was dead
Two hours of space fighting—
My brain was dead, too.

I paused and rewound—
Fugitive bro and sister
Cruise space with outlaws.

Cast of cute unknowns
Several clever one liners—
But I was spaced out.

I will have your back
Like the siblings in this film
But our tastes collide!

Thanks anyway, Mike!
I won't make you watch Clueless
If you don't get mad!

Haiku News Brief: Divorce Really Hurts!

Marrieds healthier
Split toll more than broken heart
Remarriage no help!

Husbands give money
Wives get their men to doctors
For both: less bar time!

Read the details about divorce can hurt your health here.